Common(non)sense's Blog

This is a serious quiz you can take on Facebook.

Taken from (sigh) PerezHilton.com:

The very smart and very sexy James Franco is attending graduate school at NYU and is supposedly enrolled in Queer Cinema, an undergrad course in the Cinema Studies department.

Here's a sample of the syllabus:

Week 1: "You Don't Know Dick: The Courageous Hearts of Transsexual Men" (1997 documentary)

Week 2: "Mom's Apple Pie: The Heart of the Lesbian Mothers' Custody Movement" (2006 documentary)

Week 3: "Loads" (12 minute film from 1971)

Homolicious!

This isn't the first time Franco has shown an interest in queer cinema. In addition to starring in Milk, he also directed his own student film at NYU last year based on gay poetry.

Further cementing James Franco's spot as one of my favorite actors ever. Oh and besides the fact that he is freakishly attractive.

"And in weather reports, the sun WILL come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow..."

As I've mentioned in other posts, I've been very busy with the start of school and the musical.

So, I got called back for Annie, but I got the part of July instead. I get to have a fight in the very first scene of the play. I get lines and stuff. The main orphans (excluding Annie) are Pepper, Duffy, Tessie, July, and Molly. So, I guess I'm pretty lucky.

But at first I was all like:

and

and

BUT THEN I went and got three flavors of gelato (coffee, Bailey's chocolate swirl, chocolate sorbet), pizza, double chocolate cake, and a brownie the size of my face (LOLCOMFORTFOOD) and then I went shopping for several hours and now I feel so much better.

And I was being kind of stupid because it is a good part, and I'm one of two sophomores in the entire play who got a part with a name.

Which is pretty awesome.

And you must be thinking I'm pretty selfish for having a sucky attitude, but I just really thought I had a good part at getting my first ever lead role. But I'm not, I swear. :D

Hopefully after Sepetember (AKA hell-month for us teenage control freaks) is over, I'll be able to start updating regularly again on my beloved Buzznet.

I miss you guys. But ANTM, Project Runway, Glee, and ABDC are also filling up my schedule when I'm not doing homework.

Love, Evey.

P.S. HAY I HERD U GUIS LYK BANNERZ SEW I MADE MYSELF A NEW BANNER. U LYK?!

I know with all these contests going on (Hannahbeth's t-shirt thing, Song of Summer contest), there are a lot of notes floating around about buzzing things. I, however, am not asking you to buzz anything - just to click a little link.

Now. I don't have a Tumblr, because I really don't need another account on the internet, but I have a really talented friend who has one. Her name is Abby and her Tumblr name is abbyybba.

CLICK HERE HERE HEREEE!

Here are two of her photos:

She also has a Buzznet account.

Which I can't find.

If I do, I'll edit it in.

AND THERE YA GO. You don't even need to Buzz anything! YAY. Now you kids with Tumblr accounts, go...do whatever you do on Tumblr.

Across the interwebs, there are those known for their wit. Their humor. Their galleries of self portraits with the same expression every time. I am not one of those people. However, in this charming little distraction called real life, I can give some pretty good advice. Every day I receive letters from celebrities and normal people alike, asking me to help them with their problems. Here, I will answer them: maybe you, the generation lost to the internet, can benefit from my advice as well.

Letter from the week of 8/9/09

Dear Dr. Nonsense,

As a network, we are known for our stimulating, thought-provoking shows, such as "Rock of Love," "Daisy of Love," "Megan Wants a Millionaire," and "Real Chance at Love." We have been praised for our creative titles and the lovely, unique individuals we find to participate in our fine reality television programming. Of course, we are...VH1.

Aw, thanks for your enthusiasm! Oh, Garth, we love you and all the free publicity you give Ed Hardy.

And how can we forget Donald, the (seemingly) 456-year old man who adores Megan the Gold-Digger with everything inside his little heart. He constantly entertains us with his witty phrases and pop culture references.

"I feel like Angel during the season 2 climax of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when Sarah Michelle Geller runs him through the heart...AhhhhOHHHHHH!"

We enjoy watching his skin flap around and the sunlight glint happily off his coke-bottles.

"I believe is was Lady GaGa who said...'Just Dance, it'll be okay. Just...dance.'"

Donald, we would've kept you on the show longer simply to see Megan star in "your next movie," appropriately named "Cannibal Cave Girl."

Who can remove from their memory the classy, well-educated ladies vying for the hearts (or lack thereof) of "Real" and "Chance," who were on "I Love New York" or "I Love Washington State" or whatever that one show with the ugly girl was.

Well, that honey has more rythym than...an elk carcass.

When we realized how high our ratings were this season, we were all:

Except our mouths were set on a straighter angle. And our nails are real. So is our hair.

However, we've noticed that many people are...well, mocking our programming. WE KNOW, WE DON'T GET IT EITHER. We really think we are shaking up modern day television. CNN BE DAMNED, VH1 IS IN THE HOUSE...YA'LL.

YES, WE ARE SPITTING ANGRY! THE CLAWS ARE COMING OUT!

We need people to respect our television as much as Brett Michaels respects the 20 women simultaneously chasing after his eyeliner and tight pants.

Help us?

Sincerely,

The VH1 Network.

Dear VHClass,

Here on Buzznet, we have several celebrities we follow obsessively. Well, not the entire community, but. You know. We're kind of like Angel during the season 3 climax of Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

Well, we won't go there.

Now, even if our favorite Buzznet rockstars don't keep us constantly updated on their love lives, we like to know that they have someone to snuggle up to and discuss how crazy their fangirls are. I mean, really. I just used the phrase "someone to snuggle up to."

We're absolutely crazy.

But I have the PERFECT rockstar to have on your latest "Oh dear, I've been rejected by a washed-up rockstar and now need to find a washed-up rockstar wannabe of my own to snuggle up to and discuss how crazy my fankids are."

I give you...

PATROCK OF LOVE!

Here's the episode summary:

Ever since Pete Wentz got married, Fall Out Boy frontman Patrick "P. Sassy/PatROCK/The Delicious" Stump has been searching for a significant other to call his own. You know, other than his Taco Bell dog look-a-like Penny Stump. That little traitor's been hooking up with Hemmingway Wentz anyway.

Patrick is looking for an intelligent girl who enjoys the following things:

1. Prince

2. David Bowie

3. GarageBand

Do you think you have what it takes to rock PatROCK's world?

Are you actually Prince?

Do you own/shamelessly make out with a Patrick Stump action figure?

If you can answer "YES!" to either of those questions...

OMG CAN I HAVE A SIGNED COPY OF "PURPLE RAIN?!!"

...I mean. You can sumit your entry form at VH1.com.

There you go, VH1. You will have thousands of crazed Fall Out Boy fans glued to their TV sets, waiting to see if "their little teddy bear" finally meets someone he can spawn/adopt beautiful children with.

If you do not accept this show idea, I'm assuming (although I can't make any promises) that Travis McCoy will beat your ass and something along these lines might happen to you...

But maybe I'm not in the position to threaten you with a drink in the face.

Your move.

Yours sassily,

Evey.

Fall Out Boy only has themselves to blame for this and this and this and, thanks to Peter, THIS EPICNESS.

For those of you who don't get the "Patrock" reference...

Patrock letters, meet FOB fan. FOB fan, meet Patrock letters. Thank you, Nicholas Scimeca.

There are three facts you need to know before I start this story:

1. My friends and I got our Blink-182/Fall Out Boy tickets about two months ago.

2. The concert is August fifteenth.

3. For the two months I've had my tickets, I was convinced the concert was August ninth. Today.

So, I text my friend Tiffany (thisismyartsyname on Buzznet), and this is what happens.

-

Evey: Dude, it's supposed to be 98 degrees at the concert tomorrow. D:

Tiff: What concert?

Evey: Um. The fall out boy/blink concert...?

Tiff: I'm pretty sure that's on the fifteenth.

Evey (is an idiot): Well, maybe you're going then, but I'm pretty sure it's tomorrow.

Tiff: Are you seeing Blink in New York?

Evey: ...No.

Tiff: Well, that's where they're playing tomorrow.

Evey: I JUST CHECKED THE WEBSITE.

Tiff: So did I!

Evey: *checks website again*

Evey: ...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I FAIL. I AM SUCH A SPAZ. AND MY MOM JUST CALLED ME AN IDIOT.

Tiff: You are a spaz. Get some sleep.

-

This entire conversation happened from about 11:40 PM - 12:10 AM.

So, for about two months, I thought I was going to see Fall Out Boy today. Apparently I have to wait another week.

RRAAAARLLL!

YAY.

Cobra Starship's third album, Hot Mess, is coming out August eleventh and neon-clad fankids and mainstream radio fanatics are shivering with excitement. However, "excitement" may not be the first word that came to the minds of many Buzznet users when they first saw Cobra's album artwork. Srsly?

On August 2nd at 10:15 AM, a man in California with ginger-dyed hair and the nickname "Perez Hilton" posted news that made every comic book (graphic novel?) lover shiver in their boots. Or their dad's old gym shoes. OH NOES...

The middle of this letter is supposed to be funny in parts, but I really want you guys to take the last few paragraphs seriously. I am not trying to make light of such a serious situation, I'm only trying to show kids my age how STUPID they're being.

- Evey

Dear Internet,

I weep black tears for my generation.

Once upon a time, in a magical land called Los Angeles, a young up-and-comer named Chris Brown went out with his girlfriend, Rihanna, a young has-already-arrived. What happened that night has been reported on, speculated about, featured on television specials, and has brought many alarming statistics to light.

20% of 13 - 14 year olds know someone who has been hurt by a partner.

Because of the recent "apology video" issued by CB, I decided to write a special Dr. Nonsense letter to analyze the comments made by this young star's fans. This letter is in equal parts funny and disturbing.

And...we're off.

#1 - Stupid comment! Get a grammar teacher!

#2 - So, call me. That way you, commenter #1, and I can all go shopping for a life together! And for a "boo." Do you mean the character from the Mario and Luigi games, though? 'Cause he's a little scary.

#3 - I was not aware that this woman, by any stretch of the phrase, "looks like a man":

#4 - Alas, I wish no one had said Rihanna deserved it, but as many commenters have pointed out, "ZOMG YUSS RIHANNA TOTES DID DEZERVE IT!i!@11ONE!! 1!!!!" Perhaps as President of the "CHRIS BROWN 4 LYF!!11" fanclub, you should know these things. As President of the Patrick Stump's scented sideburns fanclub, I have had to do extensive research. EXTENSIVE, I SAY!

#5 - "If I would U I'll kill myself..." Please explain this phrasing. Also, no. Jesus will not kill this poor girl. He is too busy dealing with raptor problem in Micronesia.

#6 - NO! VIOLENCE BEGETS VIOLENCE!

#7 - Short, not so sweet, and to the point. HI, I'm capital letters - perhaps you've heard of me?

ROUND TWO!

#8 - If I were "high and drunk," as you so eloquently put it, I would NOT be in a car. I would also not be with my significant other in a car, because I would have the common sense to know I should not be driving someone I love around when I am "high and drunk." ALSO, Chris Brown is NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE DRINKING; THEREFORE, YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

Also, "less sexier?" SERIOUSLY? How long have you been speaking English?

#9 - "Think you know wut happened not even something that sexy won't go like that."

...WTF.

#10 - He is still sexy? Maybe because his significant other didn't PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE.

#11 - What he does with "his" women? I was unaware that Rihanna is a POSSESSION. Go back to the 1700's and let old Angel teach you a lesson. (Yes, that was a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference.)

ROUND THREE!

#12 - My old great-great-grandpappy had a saying... "Behind every good person is a good stylist." And, judging on what he was wearing in his apology video...he's not one of those good people.

ROUND FOUR!

#13 - I am afraid I don't know how to "lukn" in the mirror. After Googling this word, I am still rather unclear on what you want me to do here. You can send me a message on Buzznet with your name, address, and $317.89 in cash if you wish to tell me.

#14 - You are not very "alWISE," are you?

#15 - SOME!@#*)(* ONE)@(*@)(# IS)!@*)(#* ABUSING @)(*@(!)!#)!(* THE)(@*!)(SHIFT !*)!@(*KEY!

Am I the only one who never found Chris Brown attractive?

#16 - He looves you, too! He just shows it by BITING PEOPLE.

ROUND FIVE!

#17 - I'mmmm sorrrryyy there arrrre toooo mannnnyyyy consonantsssss forrrr meeee to understannndddd thisssss commenttttttt.

LAST ROUND!

#18 - Yeah, hitting your girlfriend/boyfriend is bad, but, as you put it, WHTEVERSSSS. We're obviously all overreacting!

Or are we?

Seriously, people. Whether Chris Brown's apology was genuine or not, it is NEVER okay to hit somebody - ever. I remember last summer there was the "Free Travis" group when Travis McCoy smashed a microphone over someone's head for insulting him. And yes, that's bad, and apologies were in order on both sides of that conflict. However, when you are in a relationship - something that's supposed to be loving and honest and gentle, violence has no place there.

And I know my advice is usually stupid and just for comments, buzzes, and laughs, but. Really. Wake up, you guys.

-  Dr. Nonsense.

Unfortunately, "The Patrick Stump Scented Sideburns Fanclub" does not exist. But I am willing to get that phrase copyrighted.

So, I'm leaving for about a week and I may or may not have internet connection.

So, unfortunately, you will not be getting a Doctor Nonsense for Friday.

Which really kind of is too bad because I got a very good suggestion from Rosalie and Bree for a subject.

If it turns out that the place I'm going DOES have internet (that was in caps because I was too lazy to press the italics button), I'll just delete this journal and go back to the magical land of Buzzdom.

I have at least ten books to keep me busy on vacation. OH YAYAYAY.

See ya, suckas.

P.S. I'm still debating whether to make a video for Potter Face. I can't play any instruments. laugh out loud.